Establishing boundaries and consent

Talk about it

Start open conversations about desires and boundaries in advance. Talking about what you both want is respectful and the intimacy it creates can be sexy too. Understand preferences can change during sex.

Know your limits

Alcohol and drugs can cloud judgement and affect perception of boundaries. Knowing your limits and using in moderation will help you stay within boundaries.

Watch for body language

Body language and facial expressions will help you gauge your partner's comfort level and boundaries.

Silence does not mean consent

Silence should never be taken as a form of consent. In some instances, a person may become held back by fear. Seek a clear and enthusiastic"yes" before proceeding.

Keep in mind that the effects of drugs can impair judgement

Chems can affect consent, so be vigilant about each other's wellbeing.

If someone is not responding, if you can’t get their attention or if they are too high to acknowledge you, it appears that they are unable to consent, and in those cases:

• stop any sex
• stop any filming/taking pictures
• stop anyone from giving them more drugs or liquids
• stop them from using their phone and sending explicit messages.  

Be aware of power dynamics

Think about whether there may be any potential power differences. If someone feels less able to say no it’s important not to pressure them.

Recognise if someone is ‘out of it’

If someone appears excessively high or is unconscious, don’t engage in any sexual activity with them. They cannot give consent.

Anyone can change their mind

If someone withdraws their consent, it’s important to stop. Similarly, if you feel uncomfortable or unsafe, be prepared to walk away.

Accept rejection gracefully

Understand that rejection is part of life. Never pressure someone who declines.

Worried that a line may have been crossed?

If you have experienced an unwanted sexual experience visit our page on Sexual assault.