Sober sex

Tips for returning to sober sex

Take it slowly

Consider gradual transitions, starting with less intense sexual experiences and progressively moving towards more intimate connections.It may be that you decide to take a break from sex with others, using porn or masturbating. It might even be that in the short term, without chems involved, your desire to have sex is diminished.

Get to know yourself

Experiment with self-touch and self-discovery to understand what brings you pleasure without chems. Try exploring techniques around mindful masturbation.

Explore intimacy

Experiment with non-sexual touch and exploring each other's bodies in a mindful and relaxed manner. This can help rebuild a sense of connection.

Understanding triggers

It might be that you decide that certain sexual acts or fantasies (however pleasurable) might be too strong a trigger for relapse.

Anxiety is okay

It's common to experience anxiety when transitioning from chemsex to sober sex. Acknowledge these feelings.

Professional support

Consider seeking guidance from healthcare professionals experienced in substance use and sexual health. Check out our counselling service.

Share yourself

Build an emotional intimacy by sharing your thoughts ,feelings, and aspirations with your partner(s).

Your sex drive may change

Libido changes are common during the transition to sober sex. It's normal for sexual desire to fluctuate. Open communication and understanding between partners is crucial during these changes.

Looking after your sexual health

This includes regular STI testing, using condoms, getting vaccinated and PrEP.

Celebrate milestones

Acknowledge and celebrate milestones in your journey. Whether it's a week, a month, or longer without chemsex, each achievement is a testament to your resilience and commitment to positive change.

Remember that your journey is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach.